


Ocean Waters

by ThirteenSocks



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Clocktower Confessions, M/M, almost, drunk drabbles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-11-21 07:50:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18139427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThirteenSocks/pseuds/ThirteenSocks
Summary: Roxas gives him the room he needs to think but that’s not new. Roxas just looks into Axel’s eyes with all the patience in the world for Axel to fumble through the mess that lives inside his head. The same head that’s right now screaming to not voice the words that are forming on his tongue, to still it within his mouth and just shrug as if he’d lost the thought but he can’t actually lose the thought, not this one, not this thought becauseBecause“This must be the next life.”





	1. Chapter 1

“Oh God,” Axel whispers to himself around the courner of the clock tower. He’s fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. In and out. In and out. He pops them through the holes. In a way he’s naked. Stripped off the long, black coat and the boots which together left no skin showing. Despite the coat having hugged tighter to his body there’s something much more vulnerable about bare arms and legs.

Or maybe not.

He looks to the two ice creams in the hand not playing with the shirt. They’re sticking together where they touch but the outsides are melting. It’s dumb. This was dumb. He should’nt have started to mess with the buttons.

He tries to muster deeper breaths but they only come out short and too shallow to reach his lungs.

“Damnit, Axel,” he hisses at himself, “Just… do it.”

He moves closer to the front of the building. But stops just before he can be seen.

And there he is. Roxas.

Soft blonde hair is gently swaying in the barest of breezes. Those wide, doe-like eyes are shut softly, not a single line of worry etched onto that face. In the soft light of the beginning of sunset the pale brown freckles seem to glow warm on lightly tanned skin.

“Hey there, enjoying the breeze?” Axel shimmies from out of the courner. Dumb. What a dumb question. Roxas always-

“Yeah, I love it,” Roxas’ voice is smooth but has the hint of rasp from disuse.

Axel can’t help the grin that brightens across his face. He feels the soreness from his cheeks stretching so wide. The breeze, he thinks, always made Roxas feel so-

“Free. It makes me feel so free. After all the time I’ve spent inside Sora, only knowing what he felt but never feeling it myself, I… Like it. Feeling the wind.”

Axel chuckles and hands Roxas the ice cream and they begin to eat their own in that comfortable silence they always come to. There’s something so different about being inside your head but sharing that experience with someone-

Someone that..

that…

“Hey, uh, Roxas. Buddy.” Buddy. The word kind of hurts.

Roxas turns to him. Those deep blue eyes are complemented by the orange of the light around them. “Yeah?”

He pauses.

Roxas gives him the room he needs to think but that’s not new. Roxas just looks into Axel’s eyes with all the patience in the world for Axel to fumble through the mess that lives inside his head. The same head that’s right now screaming to not voice the words that are forming on his tongue, to still it within his mouth and just shrug as if he’d lost the thought but he can’t actually lose the thought, not this one, not this thought because

Because

“This must be the next life.”

Roxas blinks and the slowly a laugh takes him over. It’s mirthful. It fills Axel’s veins with warmth and nourishes him down to the bone.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Roxas shakes his head but then his expression goes more serious, “I told you.”

‘I’ll be waiting,’ Roxas did tell him.

“Well don’t leave me hanging, was it worth it?”

Roxas smiles a little sad, “Did you miss me?”

‘No one would miss me,’ that’s not true. “I did, Roxas. So much.”

They watch the sun set. No more words. Which is fine for Axel, who’s tears are streaming down his cheeks and soaking his shirt.

I missed you Roxas.

So much.


	2. Seashells and Driftwood

It’s like watching a ghost.

How many times has Axel lay awake feeling the heaviness of his muscles and bone weigh him into the mattress and no matter how tightly his eyes close all he could see was the other’s face?

He’s a ghost. Roxas is a ghost. Or is it Axel?

He watches Roxas sleepily navigate the kitchen from the side of the wall cloaked in shadows. The neon green numbers on the oven read that it’s 2am. The aches and stiffness in Axel’s body agree. But Roxas is here. Roxas is moving and breathing and

They all died.

He watched Roxas die.

No sooner then Axel had finally reunited with Roxas had they all perished at the battlefield.

Roxas places a pan on the stove and heats it up with butter then adds eggs. The soft light on the vent system carresses his skin from nose to cheeks, and Axel can make out the freckles that have deepend in hue since they’ve spent the past weeks at the beach.

The words cut off his breathing, lodged deep inside his throat, passed, and into his lungs. His stomach. To his feet. He’s paralyzed.

Roxas has been borrowing Axel’s shirts. “I don’t have the munny yet,” he’d waved down at the long, black coat that he’d been wearing. Axel knew what he meant, really. There was something about that uniform that seemed to burn Axel’s skin since he’d become a somebody again. But he’d kept wearing it because the feeling was companion to the anguish of his mind. Of his heart. He just wanted to see Roxas again.

Axel moves into the kitchen because Roxas is there, because he needs to touch the other, make sure this is real, Roxas is real, Roxas is there. “Can’t sleep? Must’ve been tossing and turning,” he chuckles and brushes his fingers through Roxas’ hair. He chuckles harder to conceal the sob that gets barely held back. Roxas is there.

“Yeah, I uh. Not used to having a body again.”

“You forget to eat? Tsk-tsk, Roxas, baby, you have to have food. Got it memorized?”

It’s chilling that Roxas doesn’t remember to eat. Axel’s been wanting to ask him if he even feels hunger. Or sleepiness. Or pain. Or

“C’mon, what’s it look like I’m doing?” Roxas huffs but it lacks any bite.

They sit quietly at the table as Roxas has his food.

There’s so much Axel wants to know but then he also doesn’t. He can ask Zexion but that feels like a breech of Roxas’ privacy. And he can’t ask Roxas either. Axel’s not sure he could take it if Roxas said he doesn’t feel human.

Roxas falls asleep at his chair when he’s done.

Axel’s not sure he could take it if Roxas said he doesn’t feel.

“Don’t even realize when you’re tired? Ugh, what am I a babysitter?” He works an arm under Roxas’ legs and curls the other around his back. Roxas doesn’t flinch. He buries Roxas’ against himself and heads back to their bedroom.

He lays Roxas down beside him.

No doubt Roxas will be confused when he wakes up.

But if Axel wakes up and finds Roxas gone then he’ll risk that to have one more precious night in a world where Roxas is there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you so much for your sweet comments and kudos! Sorry if I take forever to reply, life is pretty busy right now. Both physically and emotionally. So, anyways, here’s a little vent bit.

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who tf finished KH3 today? 
> 
> Returning to my roots baby. AkuRoku was my first real (obsession) otp. 
> 
> So what better to do than write after a few shots of whiskey?


End file.
